Adjustments
by Gwenhwyfar1984
Summary: Janeway and Chakotay must face the unforeseen consequences of their time on New Earth. Janeway/Chakotay.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Adjustments

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Janeway/Chakotay

Warnings: Adult Themes, Language, Violence, Adult Situations

Season/Episode: Two, right after Resolutions

Disclaimer: Star Trek: Voyager is the property of Paramount Pictures. I am not in any way connected to the company and I gain absolutely no money from this fanfic. I'm just borrowing the characters and I will return them.

Summary: Janeway and Chakotay must face the unforeseen consequences of their time on New Earth.

* * *

><p>As Captain Kathryn Janeway ran to her toilet to vomit for the third time in a day, she felt a deep sense of dread. It had come back.<p>

Two months ago she and Chakotay had been cured of a disease. Before that they had been quarantined on a planet as their only way to survive. Her crew had been able to get a cure, and retrieved them. The Doctor had given them a clean bill of health.

Apparently he had been wrong.

After cleaning up, Janeway changed into some casual clothing and made her way to the Sickbay. Thankfully it was night, so she barely ran into anybody. She wasn't sure that she could tolerate speaking to anyone at the moment because the closer she got to Sickbay, the more her anxiety grew.

What if the disease had come back? Could the Doctor create a new cure, or would she have to be put back in stasis and then returned to New Earth? Was Chakotay also experiencing symptoms again?

Walking into the Sickbay she found the Doctor activated and working at his desk. He smiled when she approached him, but it was quickly replaced by a look of concern.

"Captain. What can I do for you?"

"Doctor, I think that the disease has returned." She told him in a shaky voice.

He picked up a medical tricorder and began to scan her. "What? But you were cured. All traces of it in your system were gone."

"Yes, but in the last few weeks I have been exhausted. I have had moments of dizziness and almost fainted. I also started vomiting several times a day. I can't keep anything down."

"Hmm…" The Doctor pursed his lips and pressed a few buttons. "Have you also been urinating more than usual?"

"Sometimes."

"When was your last menstrual period?"

"I can't remember. I don't keep track."

"What about breast sensitivity?"

"I—yes, a little." She frowned at him. "What does that have to do with the disease?"

"Nothing, because you do not have it again." He stopped scanning. "Not a trace of it is in your system."

Janeway closed her eyes in relief. "Thank goodness." She opened them again. "Then what's wrong with me?"

He gave her a small smile. "Congratulations, Captain. You are pregnant."

She felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over her. She had to have heard wrong. "What? That is impossible."

"So you have not had sexual intercourse in the last—" He looked at his scans. "—eight weeks?"

Yes. She had, on New Earth. It had only been one night. Nothing was supposed to come from it.

"Captain?" The Doctor asked gently.

"Yes, I did." She answered, quietly. The Doctor nodded. "Is there any chance that it could have been affected by the disease or the treatment?"

The Doctor guided her over to the main biobed and had her lay down. She watched as he began to perform more in-depth scans. She lay quietly and tried to not to think about what was going on. It all seemed unreal, like he was having a bad dream.

"I'm not detecting any sign of the virus or any mutations." He finally told her. "It seems to be a perfectly healthy embryo. I'll want to continue to monitoring it every other day until the end of the first trimester."

She sat up and stared at the wall. "Alright."

He moved in front of her. When he spoke, his voice was more compassionate than she had heard in a while. "That is, if you decide to go through with the pregnancy. I am prepared to terminate if you so wish."

"What? Doctor, I—"

"I understand how overwhelming this is. I recommend that you get some sleep. This should help with the nausea." He gave her a hypospray. "And Captain? I also suggest that you talk to Commander Chakotay."

She gave him a sharp look. How could he have known that Chakotay was the father?

"The estimated conception date is when you were quarantined." He explained.

Janeway nodded and got up. "Thank you, Doctor. I—" She didn't know what else to say so she left without another word.

She had planned on taking the Doctor's advice and going to bed, but instead she found herself outside of Chakotay's quarters. She took deep breaths to get the courage to do this. Her heart was pounding wildly and her palms were sweaty. She shook her head and turned to go, but the doors opened and Chakotay stepped out.

"Captain? Is something wrong?"

"I—shouldn't you be asleep?" She asked, caught off guard.

"I couldn't, so I was going to go to the Holodeck for a little while. Did you want to talk to me about something?"

She nodded and he moved aside and motioned for her to come in.

She walked inside and over to his windows. How was she supposed to say this? Should she be blunt? Put it delicately?

"Kathryn?" He asked, right next to her. She hadn't even heard him walk over.

"I just came from sickbay." She began.

"Is something wrong?"

She took a deep breath and continued to stare out the window. "Chakotay, I'm pregnant."

Once the words were out, she strangely felt a sense of relief. Now it was not just her problem. When he didn't speak for a few minutes, that relief faded.

"Pregnant. As in…" He finally asked.

"As in I currently have a child growing inside of me." She answered.

He sat down heavily on a chair. Janeway remained standing, afraid that if she so much as moved her self-control would shatter.

"And it's mine?"

She narrowed her eyes at the passing starfield and made her voice ice. "Yes, Chakotay, you are the father."

"Kathryn, I…I don't know what to say."

'Say that you're as stunned as me. Say that you don't want it. Say that you do want it. Say that you're as scared as hell as I am.' She thought. Instead, she just nodded. "I just thought that you should be informed."

She turned to go but he held out a restraining hand. "I'm sorry. It is just a lot to take in. In less than a year I found out that I'm going to be a father. Twice."

She nodded. She had forgotten about the situation with Seska and her stealing his DNA to create a child.

"Chakotay…what should we do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you want this baby?"

He was silent once again for a long time. She felt dizzy and sat down opposite him.

"I have thought about having children. When I joined the Maquis, that mentality lessened considerably." He fell silent.

"I thought about it too. I do want children, but I thought that it would be in the future." And with a different person. If she counted her brief experience as a hyper-evolved being, that now made two incidents of unintentional reproducing. "You didn't answer my question. Do you want this baby?"

He looked at her and his eyes traveled down to her still flat stomach. "I think that I do."

She nodded. "Alright."

"But I do not want to make you do something that you don't want to."

Swearing softly to herself she ran a hand over her forehead. "I make decisions every day that affect the lives of over one hundred people. How can I make those same decisions if my own child in on board?"

"Because I know that you do not let your personal feelings cloud your judgment.

She smiled bitterly. "The fact that we are in this situation proves otherwise." Chakotay nodded. "I'm the captain. What would the crew think?"

"I think that they would welcome this child as enthusiastically as they did Naomi Wildman."

"But Naomi was born to an Ensign. I am the Captain. I need to be apart. I need to be strong for my crew. How are they going to take me seriously if I am walking around with a big, pregnant belly?"

Damn. She had not meant to be this open about her fears. She had only intended to inform him of the situation and hope that he would help her decide what to do.

"Oh, I think that you would find that most people take pregnant women quite seriously." Chakotay answered with a smirk. Janeway smiled in spite of herself, and then grew serious again.

"What about the fact that it's yours?"

"They just have to accept it. Besides, it's not like we are together now."

She thought that she detected a note of bitterness in his voice, but she was not sure. No, it had only been a one-time thing. By unspoken agreement, once they were back on Voyager, they had resumed their previous, platonic relationship.

"No, we are not."

"Kathryn, you don't have to make a decision now." He told her.

"No, but…" She paused. "The Doctor said that it is healthy. There is no evidence that the virus harmed it."

"That's great."

She stared at the floor for a moment. "So…I think that…I'm going to…I'm going to have it." She let out a breath that she hadn't even known she was holding.

"Are you sure?"

Was she sure? Absolutely not. She was as far from sure as she could be. But it felt more right than the alternative.

"No, but…" She trailed off.

He stood up and walked over to her. "I'll be here for you. You won't be doing this alone."

"Thank you. That makes me feel a little better." She admitted.

She didn't tell him that it wasn't by much.


	2. Chapter 2

Janeway and Chakotay decided to not tell anybody about the pregnancy until she was safely out of the first trimester. So for the next month she tried to act as though nothing was amiss. Thankfully, her strict self-discipline enabled her to put on a good act. Unfortunately, her changing body would override it.

It was these moments that made her know that the crew suspected that something was going on with their Captain. After all, there had to be a problem if she would suddenly and without explanation leave in the middle of a briefing, or yell at an engineer for a mistake that made an entire section on Deck 5 lose power.

"Well, Captain, Commander…I am pleased to report that at thirteen weeks your fetus is perfectly healthy." The Doctor said, examining the scans he had just taken. Janeway closed her eyes and fought her conflicted feelings.

"Are you sure? There is no trace of the virus?" Chakotay asked, walking up to the console and looking at the results.

"None at all. Both are disease free." The Doctor smiled. "There are also no traces of mutations or any abnormalities. You are having a healthy…child." He stumbled over the last word.

Janeway opened her eyes and looked at the hologram. "Were you about to reveal if it is a boy or a girl?"

"Not if you don't want me to. I can keep a secret."

Chakotay looked back at her, obviously curious. "Do you want to know?"

"Yes." She answered, surprising herself.

"Ok then, Doctor. What are we having?"

"A girl."

Chakotay grinned. "A girl. I'm going to have a daughter."

Janeway placed a smile on her face too, but didn't feel the same feeling of happiness that Chakotay felt.

As Janeway sat in the Mess Hall a few days later eating lunch, she felt as though people were staring at her. Logically, she knew that it was in her mind. People had their own lives and were not interested in watching her eat Neelix's hair pasta.

That morning she had been getting dressed and she had noticed that her uniform was tighter than normal. Closer inspection found that her normally flat abdomen was now rounded. The realization had stunned her. Oh, she knew that it had been coming, but it was too soon! She was not ready to be showing. She was not ready for everybody to know. Once they knew, she would go from being their Captain to something else.

Once again a stab of resentment went through her.

"May I sit here?" Tuvok's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Of course."

He sat across from her with a small serving of the pasta. After taking a few bites, he spoke. "Captain, may I speak to you about a personal matter?"

"Alright." She agreed cautiously.

"Some of the crew has expressed concern over you." He began.

She nodded. "I know that lately I have been acting differently."

"Your position is a difficult one. It is to be expected for you to experience periods of stress."

Janeway gave him a long look, and decided that she couldn't lie to him. Tuvok was her oldest and dearest friend.

"I am stressed, Tuvok, but not from being Captain." She whispered the words "I'm pregnant."

Tuvok raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes. Thirteen weeks."

"I see."

"You can probably tell by doing the math the circumstances surrounding it." She said, playing with her pasta.

"Yes."

"I know that it is wrong—" She started, but Tuvok cut her off.

"Captain, the circumstances that this ship and crew are in is not ordinary ones. Things have and will happen that would not occur on an ordinary Starfleet vessel."

"I know that. I still feel guilty though."

"That is an illogical response." He paused. "May I offer you congratulations?"

"Thank you." She smiled. His words had a small bit of comfort, but had in no way erased her guilt. She wasn't sure that anything would.

It was a good sign, however, that Tuvok had not condemned her. She just wondered about the rest of the crew.

Two weeks later Janeway was in her quarters preparing for her shift. She grabbed her trousers and was pulling them on when she found that she could not pull them above her hips. Her abdomen was in the way. She frowned and tried harder, but they had reached their limit for stretching. Curious, she tried to pull on the tops. The grey tank top and the turtleneck were stretchy, so they were able to go on, but the jacket failed to zip. Distressed, she sat down on her bed.

She knew what she had to do. It had been a while in coming. It just meant that everything was going to change.

Setting her uniform aside, she pulled on a robe.

"Computer, locate Commander Chakotay."

"Commander Chakotay is in his quarters."

"Janeway to Chakotay."

"Chakotay here."

"Commander could you please come to my quarters? I need your assistance."

"Be right there. Chakotay out."

Five minutes later he arrived. Taking in Janeway's appearance, he frowned.

"I thought that you started your shift in ten minutes."

"I do. It's just that…I don't fit into my uniform anymore." She explained, looking straight into his eyes.

As he comprehended the ramifications of her statement, he sat down heavily on her sofa.

"Well, we knew that this day was coming."

She sat down next to him. "Yes. But so soon? I'm only fifteen weeks."

"Apparently so. Kathryn…it's ok. It's just a uniform."

She shook her head, knowing that there was no real way for him to understand, but needing to explain it anyway. "No, it's not. The maternity uniform, Chakotay, is a symbol. Yes, with the color and the pips it still says that I'm the Captain. But it also highlights that I now have a very big weakness."

Chakotay looked at her. "Not so big."

She smiled and shook her head. "Not yet. And don't change the subject." She stood up and started pacing. "I know that this is what we agreed on. To not make an announcement, and just let things happen. I just…" She ran her hand through her hair.

Chakotay stood up. "Kathryn, hasn't this crew proven time and again that they respect you and care about you? Nobody is going to condemn you for this. And I will be there, right next to you." He placed his hand on her shoulder, which was surprising because since they had been cured they had maintained a strict no physical contact behavior. In truth, she had missed his touches.

Surprising herself, she placed her hand over his and leaned into him. They stood like that for a long moment before Janeway moved away and towards the replicator. Unable to bring herself to say the words, she instead manually entered the commands. A few moments later, the maternity version of her uniform materialized.

True to his word, Chakotay waited for her to get changed and walked with her to the Bridge. In the turbolift, she smoothed non-existent wrinkles out of the loose top and squared her shoulders. Chakotay gave her shoulder a quick squeeze and let her exit ahead of him.

Tuvok saw her first and raised an eyebrow at her new attire. He didn't say anything, of course. She made her way down the few steps, and she felt her heart pounding and tried to keep calm. As she stepped into the central part of the Bridge, Lieutenant Tom Paris spun around to greet her. "Good morning…Captain!" His voice rose in surprise at the last word, and he stared.

She felt all eyes on her and resisted the urge to shield her stomach. Now they knew. She had not simply been gaining weight, she was pregnant. "Is there a problem, Lieutenant?"

"No, Ma'am…Captain." He stammered. After giving her a smile, he turned back around.

She looked around and people went back to their work. She sat down in her chair. Nobody had given her looks of disgust. They had been surprised, but that was all. No condemnations, nothing bad. Perhaps this would be alright after all.

Later that day there was a meeting of the senior staff. Supplies were running low, and Neelix knew of a planet they were nearing that could possibly be a source to replenish their stores.

"They are called the Nydians. I have never dealt with them myself, but I have heard good things about them. They own a small part of space and tend to rarely venture out of it." The Talaxian informed them.

"How far away are they?" Chakotay asked.

"I'd say that we are still a day or two from their space."

"Alright then. We'll set a course. Is there anything else? Any problems in Engineering?" Janeway asked Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres, the Chief Engineer.

B'Elanna shook her head. "No, everything is running well, for now."

"Ok then. Dis—"

"Wait, wait!" Neelix interrupted. "Captain…I just have to address—" He held out his hands towards her. "—this. This joyous news! Why didn't you say something sooner?"

Janeway cleared her throat. "Well, Neelix, because it is a private matter. And I also didn't feel that it warranted a big announcement."

"It's a baby. That is the most joyous news a person can give. Oh, congratulations. When is it to be born?"

Hating the conversation, but knowing that Neelix would never let it drop, she answered. "Thank you, Neelix. She will be born in a little more than five months."

"She! Wonderful. Oh, I am going to have to prepare a special meal for this occasion."

She put on her brightest, and most false, smile. "I look forward to it."

"Congratulations, Captain." Ensign Kim said shyly. Everyone else around the table echoed. Janeway felt herself relaxing as she took in the acceptance of her senior staff.

"Uh, may I also pass on congratulations to the father…?" Neelix trailed off.

Next to her, Chakotay stirred and sat up straighter. "Thank you, Neelix. I appreciate that."

"What!" B'Elanna exclaimed loudly. "You are the father?"

The tension in the room went up a few degrees as the anger radiated from the woman.

"Yes, B'Elanna, I am the father." Chakotay answered, his voice stern.

B'Elanna snorted. "So this is upholding Starfleet principles? The command team sleeping together?" She crossed her arms. "Unbelievable."

"Lieutenant Torres you are out of line." Chakotay exclaimed.

B'Elanna didn't say anything further, but it was obvious that she wanted to. Janeway looked around the table and saw that nobody but Neelix was looking at her.

"Well, if there is nothing else then you are all dismissed."

The room quickly emptied and Janeway stood up. Chakotay looked like he wanted to say something, but she held up a hand.

"I'll be in my ready room. You have the bridge."

With that she hurried across the bridge with what dignity she could gather and into blessed solitude.


	3. Chapter 3

Kathryn Janeway awoke slowly and was immediately aware of the softness of the bed. Breathing deeply, she smelled lavender, and was reminded of her childhood. Her mother had always lightly scented the bed linens with lavender, saying that it was to help relax and bring good dreams.

Opening her eyes, she realized that she was in fact at home, and in the bedroom that she had grown up in. Sitting up, she rubbed her eyes and threw off the warm bedclothes. Looking around, she didn't see anything amiss. Yet, she felt a strange sense of unease. Something was not right…

After throwing on a robe, she wandered into the kitchen, where her mother was just setting breakfast on the table. Upon seeing her daughter, she smiled warmly and gestured to a seat. "I was just about to wake you."

Janeway sat down and looked at the eggs, potatoes, and bacon. She was ravenously hungry. After her mother was seated, she picked up a fork and began to eat. It was delicious, the flavors something she had never been able to do herself. "This is really good. I have missed your cooking."

Gretchen nodded. "I can see that. Yet, I wonder if it is my cooking, or just your little passenger that makes your appetite so strong." Her mother gestured. "I know with you I ate everything in sight."

Janeway looked down and saw her slightly bulging abdomen. She felt a sense of dread, and set down her fork. "This isn't right."

"What is not right? Is something making you sick?"

"No." Janeway stood up and rubbed her belly. "I shouldn't be here. How am I here?"

"Kathryn, what are you going on about? You are visiting for the weekend."

No. that was wrong. She should be…she should be on a ship. Yes, a ship. Voyager. She looked at her mother sadly. "No. This isn't real."

It wasn't real. As much as she wanted to be with her mother, especially now, it was a dream.

"Honey, this is real." Gretchen stood up and pulled her daughter into her arms. "Calm down."

Janeway felt nauseous and clamped a hand over her mouth. Pulling away, she turned her back and clutched her belly. A sharp pain was cutting through her, and she felt like she was going to be split in two…

…Janeway awoke to find herself strapped to what seemed to be a hospital bed. Straps covered her, over her legs and shoulders, and some kind of monitor was covering her abdomen. She struggled against the straps, and clenched her teeth as pain ripped through her.

"Relax, Captain." A voice said calmly. Janeway tilted her head towards it and saw a humanoid woman sitting in a chair a few feet away. She looked to be about thirty human years. "This is normal."

"Who are you?" Janeway asked.

"I am Mason." The woman answered. She checked some kind of device in her hands and smiled. Janeway felt another agonizing wave, and then something moved in her belly. "Excellent. You have now passed into phase two."

Mason stood up and walked over to the bed. Gently, she removed the monitor, unstrapped the restraints and placed a hand behind Janeway's back. "Careful as you sit up."

She felt like resisting the woman's help, but knew that it was a foolish thing to do. As she sat up, she glanced down at her belly and gave a small scream.

He belly was larger than it should be. She looked to be about seven months along. Something which was impossible, of course. She couldn't have been gone that long. Voyager would look for her. Unless Voyager was not around anymore…

"Where is my ship?" Janeway demanded.

"Your ship is fine, Captain. I promise you." Mason told her.

"What did you do to me?" She growled, placing a hesitant hand on her abdomen.

"You pregnancy has been accelerated."

"Why? How long have I been here?"

Mason pressed her lips into a thin line. After a few moments she spoke. "You have only been here a day." Mason gestured for her to stand. "Come, you need to walk."

Janeway remained sitting. "Why are you doing this to me?"

Mason simply placed a firm hand around Janeway's upper arm and forced her to stand. It took her a moment to adjust to the new change in her body, but she quickly gained her footing. Looking around, she saw that she was in what seemed to be a hospital room. Monitors lined the walls, but she could not read the language. Giving Mason a glare, she let herself be led from the room.

They emerged into a long hallway full of identical doors. Occasionally there was a window, and judging by the amount of foliage, she was not on a starship. Good, that meant there was a better chance of rescue or escape.

Coming to a set of double doors, Mason stopped and took a band out of her pocket. She reached for Janeway's wrist.

"What is that?" Janeway demanded.

"It monitors your location, and also provided a diagnostic of your condition." She attached it and a green light lit a small display. "You have just entered phase two. You are required to have fresh air, but please keep the exertion to a minimum. I will retrieve you this evening."

Mason opened one of the doors and Janeway saw that they led to a small park. That is not what filled her with a feeling of horror though. What filled her with horror was there were approximately twenty other pregnant women in the park.


	4. Chapter 4

Slowly walking into the park, Janeway first took a good look at her surroundings. The park was not very large. In the background she could see a high wall, with guards carrying large weapons watching anyone who approached. On her left was another wall, this one had some open doorways. Through them she could see some kind of mess hall and two bathrooms.

Janeway could hear some water flowing and headed for it. If there was a river or stream, perhaps it led to a hole in the wall and could provide an escape. She found the small creek in the middle of a group of trees, and started to walk along the edge. She was sure that she was being watched, so she wanted them to think that she was just out for a stroll.

"You're not going to find a way out."

Janeway turned and saw a woman walking on the other side of the creek. She was humanoid, but was not of the same species as the Nydians. She was also enormously pregnant.

"How do you know?" Janeway asked.

The woman smiled bitterly. "Because I have been here for three years."

A chill ran down her back, but she didn't let it show. Putting on her best, blank Captain's Face, she took a deep breath. "Why?"

The woman looked back towards the main area of the park. "I need to sit. Come with me and I will tell you everything."

She was led back down the stream and over a small bridge. The woman settled them on a semi-secluded bench in the trees.

"I am Lena of the Hydeans."

"I am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. Why are we here?"

"Why? I thought it was obvious, Captain. We are here because we had then unfortunate luck to have been with child."

Janeway narrowed her eyes. It was obvious that the Nydians had an interest in her child. But why? "Explain."

"My people, the Hydeans, are the closest neighbors to Nydea. Ten years ago our two planets went to war. The Nydians wanted to expand into our space, and we objected." Lena sighed. "I'll spare you the details, but after three years of war, my people ended it. We detonated a biological weapon that sterilized the Nydians."

Janeway looked away. She was no pacifist. Being in Starfleet, she was military, and knew that war got dirty. But she didn't have to like permanent tactics like that.

"We negotiated a treaty with them, and for a couple of years things seemed to be alright. Then we noticed that people were disappearing. All of them were couples, and all of them had proven fertility." She placed a hand on her belly. "This is my second child. I was kept from my husband until my first child was born. A boy. He was taken from me, and I was placed back with my husband. Nature took its course, and I got pregnant, and was taken. The same has happened to all of my people here."

"But why am I here? I am not Hydean."

"I assume that my people took measures to prevent further abductions because a year ago, women from different races started showing up. They didn't stay like me. Instead their pregnancies were accelerated and their children taken. I assume that they were released back to their people."

"Without their children."

Lena gave her a look of deep understanding. "Correct. I am sorry, Captain."

Janeway clenched her teeth and looked towards the main complex. They wanted her child. Admittedly, she was ambivalent about her pregnancy. She had deep doubts about her ability to be a captain and a mother at the same time. This situation just confirmed her doubts. But she was sure about one thing. These people will take her child from her over her dead body.

* * *

><p>Chakotay stood in front of the Captain's chair and glared at the man in front of him. It was Davin, the leader of the Nydians. The man was currently apologizing for what had happened.<p>

Chakotay did not believe him. Oh, the man was convincing and seemed sincere. But Chakotay just had a sense that the man was lying.

The first clue came when he had insisted that Captain Janeway was in the away team. Chakotay had, in private, vehemently protested. Kathryn had, of course, ignored him. She told him that she was not going to stop being a Captain simply because she was pregnant.

Two hours into the away mission Voyager had gotten word that the away team had been attacked. B'Elanna, Tuvok, and Neelix had been rendered unconscious, but otherwise uninjured. Captain Janeway had been abducted. Her combadge had been returned with the rest of the away team, so there was no way to track her that way.

The Nydians were claiming that it had been people called the Hydeans that had done it. Apparently, there had been a war ten years ago. The Hydeans had lost, and since then plagued the Nydians. They had even accused the Nydians of horrendous things, trying to stop outside trade.

"I am very sorry, Commander. Please know that if there is anything that we can do to assist you in the recovery of your Captain." Davin said, his face showing the perfet ammount of sorrow.

"Thank you, Emperor Davin." Chakotay replied graciously, and gestured for the comm line to be cut.

They had detected a ship leaving the planet around the time of the abduction. They would follow the warp trail. However, Chakotay did not believe that they would find the Captain at the end of it. But he did think that he would find answers.


	5. Chapter 5

Janeway sat on the bench for a while longer, and then proceeded to examine more of the park. Looking once more at the stream, she saw that it got deeper at the wall, and that there was a grate covering the hole to the other side. Carefully looking up at the darkening sky, she stretched and began to walk the other way. Poking her head into the mess, she considered food, but the baby was moving around so much and kicking that she was really uncomfortable. She probably didn't like the acceleration any more than Janeway did.

She was just coming from the bathroom when the light on her wrist monitor began to blink. Confused, she looked around and saw that all of the women were heading towards the entrance to the building, their wrists blinking too. Seeing Lena, she gave her a questioning look.

"It's time to go in. We'll be given one more exam, and then we sleep." Lena explained.

Janeway pursed her lips and was silent as they entered the building. She returned to her previous room. Mason was waiting, and motioned for Janeway to sit. She removed the wrist device and attached the monitor to Janeway's belly.

"You will not get away with this. My crew will find me."

Mason pressed a hypospray to Janeway's neck and didn't reply. Almost immediately, she fell asleep.

The next two days were identical to to the first. She awoke in the morning, was scanned, and released into the park. She spend her days by the creek, not trying to socialize with any of the other women. They knew she would not be here long, and didn't make any attempts either. At night she returned to her room where she was scanned and sedated. Mason refused to answer any questions.

On the fourth evening things changed. Mason was standing next to the bed as usual, and gestured for Janeway to sit. The monitor was once again strapped to her stomach, and her wrist monitor was removed. She watched as the doctor entered some data into a computer and picked up a hypospray. It held green liquid instead of the usual blue.

"What is that?"

"This is what is going to enter you into phase three." Mason answered, placing the hypospray against Janeway's abdomen.

"What is phase three?"

Mason merely looked at her. "You had better get some sleep now. You'll need it." The woman gathered up her things and placed them on a rolling tray. Without another word she left the room.

Janeway watched her go and sighed. She didn't like the sound of that last sentence. Well, if she was not going to be sedated, she certainly was not going to sit around and wait.

Hopping off the bed, she proceeded to examine every inch of the room. There wasn't much except for computers and monitors. However, on one drawer labeled "Emergency" she found a metal scalpel. She winced at the primitive barbarism of the device but grabbed it. She was heading for the door when she felt a sudden pushing pain in her abdomen. Looking down, she saw the shape of a small foot pushing out. As she watched, it seemed to get a little bigger. It felt like there was not enough room inside of her, and the pain was agonizing. She gripped the edge of the bed, and behind her she heard the door open.

"What are you doing up? I told you to rest!" Mason rushed into the room and grabbed Janeway's arm.

"What's happening to me?"

"You are entering stage three. Your child is growing to its ideal size and your body is preparing for birth. Now get on-" Mason was cut off as Janeway spun and waved the scalpel at her.

"Get away from me." Janeway growled as she edged away from the bed.

"What are you-"

"I'm getting the hell out of here."

Mason looked at her with detached pity. "You would not make it far. Even if you managed to make it out of this compound, you are surrounded by forest. Not only that, your body will not let you. Your child will continue to grow continually now, even faster than before, as will your womb. After that you will enter labor. It will not be pleasant."

Janeway knew that Mason was correct. She was definitely in no condition to be escaping. But she had to. She had to get back to her ship.

Reaching over to the tray, Janeway lifted the heaviest device she could manage. Channeling all of her pain into the blow, she hit Mason on the side of her head. The woman fell to the floor, completely unconscious. Janeway hurried out into the corridor. It was completely dark, and surprisingly deserted. Alert, she made her way towards the double doors, pausing when she came to a partially open door.

"—do not believe what we told them. Apparently they have talked to the Hydeans, and know that we have her. They are demanding their captain back." It was Emperor Davin's voice.

"She has entered Stage Three. We should have the child soon."

"Good. I will keep stalling. Update me."

Voyager! Voyager knew she was here! She had to get out. Rushing to the double doors, she quietly exited the building.

Outside, it was dark, but the moon was full enough to see. There was only one guard, and she ducked behind a tree and watched him. He scanned her section before moving on. Keeping to the trees, Janeway knew what her destination was going to be.

When she reached the creek, she had to pause as another wave of pain swept through her. Her belly was getting larger, as Mason had warned her. From what she could tell, her size was nearly that of a full term pregnancy. Knowing that there was now no time to waste, for many reasons, she climbed into the dark water.

She had to stifle a cry as the icy water enveloped her. Taking a deep breath, she swam to the grate and examined it. It would be a tight squeeze, but if she could remove it, she would be able to swim through the hole in the wall. Tugging, it moved slightly, but still held. Rising to the surface, she took another deep breath and then submerged. Channeling all of her pain, anger, and fear into strength, she pulled as hard as she could. The grate broke free, and Janeway squeezed herself through the hole.

Once she was through, she had to surface for air. One thing that she had not considered was the fact that her advanced pregnancy diminished her lung capacity. As she struggled not to cough, she hugged the wall and listened for the guard. Not hearing anything, she risked climbing onto dry land. Looking up at the wall, she did not see anyone, so she ran. Mason had been correct; the complex seemed to be surrounded by a forest. That was good, because it provided cover. When the complex was no longer visible, Janeway stopped and leaned against a tree. A dull pain was radiating through her back and abdomen, a pain that was different from anything she had felt before. Pushing the fear that it was the beginning of labor out of her mind, she forced her body into action, and headed deeper into the forest. As she walked, she realized that she did not really have a plan. Yes, she had escaped, but now what? How would she contact Voyager? They were looking for her, knew that she was here, but they did not know where. Nor did she know just how far from a city she was. She had jumped from the proverbial frying pan, into the fire.

The canopy of the trees blocked most of the moonlight, so she found that she was in near complete darkness. This slowed her travel, as she had to navigate around logs and other vegetation. In the distance, she heard signs of local wildlife, but nothing close to her. She still had the scalpel, but it would not do much good against a large beast. As she thought that, distantly there was a loud roar, and she stumbled over a branch. Twisting her body, she landed hard on her left side. Pain, sharp and stabbing ripped through her abdomen, and she couldn't suppress a yell. Pushing into a sitting position, she felt that her trousers were damp, and not from the ground.

"No…" She moaned. "No…"

To her right, there was the sound of something moving through the forest. Gripping her scalpel, she struggled to stand, fighting her body's protests. A moment later, B'Elanna Torres, Tuvok, and a security team surrounded her.

Chakotay sat in the command chair and stared grimly at the viewscreen. The dark greens, blues, and swirling white clouds of the planet Nydia filled it. It was a pretty planet, but all Chakotay could think of was the fact that Janeway and his child were being held down there.

After being told about the Hydeans, Chakotay had sent a shuttle to the planet. They had been extremely straightforward with their information. They had told about the war, the weapon, and the kidnappings. Unfortunately, because of the treaty, they were unable to assist the crew of Voyager in a rescue. They did, however, provide the location of where they knew pregnant women had been held in the past. Armed with the new information, Chakotay had confronted Emperor Davin. The man had the nerve to lie. He claimed that he was extremely disappointed that Chakotay believed the Hydeans. He continued to insist that Janeway was not with them. Confident that Janeway was being held where the Hydeans had said Chakotay had authorized a rescue mission exactly 50 minutes ago. He had not heard anything since.

Resisting the urge to stand and pace, he threw another dark look at the viewscreen.

"Commander, I'm picking up a hail. It's Tuvok. They have the Captain!" Ensign Kim reported. "They're requesting an emergency beam to sickbay."

"Do as soon as they are in range." Chakotay ordered. He stood and started to head for the turbolift when Kim spoke again.

"I'm also detecting two ships heading towards us for the surface. Their weapons are armed."

Chakotay looked towards the turbolift longingly, but sat back down. He was the Commander of the ship, and right now he was in charge. His place was on the Bridge. It just wasn't where he wanted to be.


	6. Chapter 6

The blinding white light of the transporter beam faded, and Janeway was relieved to find herself in the sickbay. Home…she was home. She swayed on her feet and Kes caught her.

"Good to have you back, Captain." The Doctor said, waving a medical tricorder at her. He frowned at the screen. "Well, it seems you are going to have this baby sooner than we had expected."

"I fell." She informed him, her words slightly slurred from her exhaustion. "I think it did something."

"I'm not detecting any injuries to the fetus." He looked at Kes. "Get her cleaned up and into a gown immediately."

Kes went to get one of the turquoise medical gowns while Janeway removed the filthy white tunic and trousers that the Nydians had put her in. A warm cloth cleaned away some of the grime from her escape, and Kes treated the cuts and scratches on her arms and legs. The dry, scratchy gown was lowered over her head, and she was helped onto the bed.

Laying down should have been a relief, but at that point, she didn't think relief was possible. All she felt was pain. The contractions were coming a lot quicker, and stronger than before.

"Good, Captain." Kes urged, rubbing her shoulder. "You're doing well."

"It doesn't feel like good." She gasped. She would have said more, but the ship suddenly shook. "Was that an impact? Are we under attack?"

Kes looked over at the Doctor, but her shook his head at her. "I don't know, Captain. Let's not think about that now."

The ship shook again, and the lights flickered. "We are!" Janeway swung her legs over the edge of the bed and tried to get down. "I need to get to the bridge."

The Doctor hurried over to her. "You are not going anywhere."

Panting, Janeway narrowed her eyes at him. "I am the Captain of this ship. My place is on the bridge."

"You might be the captain, but you were kidnapped, had your pregnancy accelerated, and are—" He checked some readings. "—eight centimeters dilated. You are having a baby. Your place is here."

"Son of a bitch." She swore, both at the Doctor and at the situation. This wasn't right. Everything was out of her control. Her ship, her own body. She had nothing left.

He looked indifferent. "Ensign Wildman called me worse. Now, get your legs back up."

Pain. Her world became ruled by pain. The only variations were in whether the pain was burning, stabbing, aching, pressure, or an unholy combination of all four. The contractions were near constant, and the pauses were few. Her clothing and hair were soaked in sweat. She wanted to scream.

"Breathe, Captain. You need to breathe." Kes urged, rubbing her shoulder.

"I am breathing, damn it!" Janeway growled. "And stop touching me!" She viciously pushed the Ocampan woman away. "Just leave me alone!"

"Kes." The Doctor called. They moved just to the limits of her hearing. "…injured crew…nothing too serious…treat." Distantly, a part of her knew this was something she should be concerned about, but at that point she found she couldn't really care. All she wanted was for this to end.

"Ok, Captain, it is time to start pushing." The Doctor said cheerfully. How dare he be so cheerful when she was in hell?

"You push." She muttered, glaring at him. "I don't want to push."

He positioned himself at the foot of the bed. "The sooner you push, the sooner it is over. Come on."

Despite what she said, her body was telling her that pushing was what she needed to do. Propping herself up, she pushed into the source of her agony, pushed it away from her. This didn't anger her, this she could control.

"Good. Very good." The Doctor encouraged during a brief pause. "Again!"

Focused on the one thing that gave her some kind of relief, she pushed and pushed with everything she had. Time, passed, she wasn't sure how much, but she knew that the Doctor was telling her that it was nearly over. Giving a triumphant yell and one last push, she felt something leave her body, and then emptiness.

"You did it." The Doctor informed her. Looking down her body, she saw him holding a tiny, goo covered baby. Exhausted, she collapsed back onto the bed and passed out.

She regained consciousness to the sound of soft voices. Lifting her head, she saw that the other biobeds were occupied by members of her crew. They did not look seriously injured, and were sleeping peacefully. The second thing that she noticed was that the ship was not shaking. It seemed that the battle was over.

"Look, she's awake." Chakotay's quiet voice said. He came into her field of view, holding a blanket wrapped bundle. "She's beautiful, Kathryn."

He held the baby low enough that she could see it. The baby had thick black hair, and when she opened her eyes for a moment, Janeway saw blue irises. "She looks like you."

"But with your eyes." He smiled down at the baby. "She's perfect."

"Indeed she is, Commander." The Doctor came over and looked at the baby proudly. "Ten fingers, ten toes. I created a serum to deactivate what the Nydians injected the two of you with to accelerate the pregnancy. So there is no worry that you will wake up tomorrow to a toddler. Now, have you chosen a name for our newest crew member?"

Chakotay looked at her. "Kathryn? Do you have any ideas?"

Honestly, she had never thought about it. She had thought that there would be months to go before she had to choose a name. Now though, she didn't even really seem to care. "No. Name her what you want."

Chakotay frowned, and looked at the doctor. "I like the name Mahala. Mahala Janeway."

"Alright. I'll enter that into the computer. I want to keep the two of you here overnight, and then you are to rest for a week, Captain. You've been through extreme trauma." He smiled at the baby and walked away.

"Do you want to hold her?" Chakotay asked, moving the bundle towards her. She leaned away, her hands warding him off.

"No. I do not. Now, report." He looked confused. "The battle?"

"Oh, right. It seems that the Nydians were not going to let you go without a fight. They were no match for us. Paris was able to get us away with minimal damage to either side. While the Prime Directive prevents us from directly interfering, I did place a warning beacon at the edge of their space warning other ships about them."

"Damage?"

"A conduit blew on Deck 15." He said, motioning to the injured. "Nobody was killed, and Engineering is repairing it as we speak."

Janeway nodded. "Good. Please bring me the reports."

"Yes, Captain." He stared at her. "You really don't want to hold your daughter?"

She hardened her features and shook her head. "I don't."

"Kathryn—"

"Captain, the Doctor said that you can have a shower. Would you like that?" Kes interrupted.

"Yes, please."

Kes helped her down, and led her to the bathroom right off the infirmary. She refused to look back at Chakotay, who she knew would be staring after her.

While she would have preferred real water, she gratefully leaned against the wall of the sonic shower and let the dirt be lifted away.

"She really is a beautiful baby. And healthy." Kes informed her. While she had to be in the bathroom to make sure Janeway didn't fall or some other emergency, she had turned her back to give some privacy. "Is that what you are afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid. I just…" To her horror, she found herself bursting into tears. She sank down to the floor and covered her face with her hands. "I'm a horrible person."

She heard the stall door open and Kes turned off the shower. Next, a warm towel was wrapped around her. "You are not a horrible person."

"I pushed you."

"You were in labor."

She lifted her head and sniffed. "I resent my own baby."

"Why?" Kes asked simply. There was no judgment in her voice.

"I didn't plan on getting pregnant. I knew from the beginning that this was a bad idea. I cannot be a Captain and a mother. I got kidnapped because of the baby. I put this ship and crew into danger because of the baby. Look at me! This has made me weak and emotional."

"Nobody blames you for what happened. And did you know that after the battle when we knew we were safe, people were gathering outside sickbay to find out if you were alright? Everybody loves you, Captain, and they will love you with a child too."

She cleared her throat and nodded. "We'd better get back."

Kes nodded sadly and helped her to stand.

That night she was awoken by wailing. She realized that it was the baby crying in the cradle next to her. Clenching her jaw, she tried to ignore the sound. She just couldn't bring herself to address whatever was wrong. Thankfully, the injured crewmembers had been released, so she and the baby were the only ones in the sickbay.

"Captain!" And the Doctor, of course. Ignoring him, she pretended to be asleep. "Captain Janeway!"

After a few moments, she heard the hologram picking up the infant. "I suppose you are hungry. I'll replicate you a bottle. Now, don't get upset if I get this wrong. I'm a Doctor, not a nursemaid."

They went into his office, and she curled into a ball, shame filling her.


	7. Chapter 7

Janeway was in her quarters when the chime announced that someone wanted entry. Setting down her book, she called for them to enter. To her disappointment, it was Chakotay, with the baby in a sling in front of him.

"Yes, Commander?" She inquired formally.

Chakotay entered and stared at her for a long moment. Finally, when he spoke, his voice was cold. "Mahala is two weeks old today."

"I was there at her birth. I am well aware of how long ago it was."

"Two weeks. For two weeks, I have watched you interact with the crew. For two weeks, I have seen you interact with Naomi Wildman. It has been two weeks, and you have not once interacted with your daughter." He said with barely repressed fury.

"She is not being neglected. I know that she has others that can care for her very well. You of course, and I heard that Neelix watched her on occasion. He has practice with Naomi. There are others who know about babies that have cared for her. Now, if there is anything else?"

Chakotay sat down in a chair and picked up the sleeping infant from the sling. He cradled the baby in his arms and looked determinedly at her. "We need to have a long overdue talk."

"There is nothing to talk about, Chakotay."

"There is plenty to talk about."

"I don't have to explain myself to you, Commander."

"You might not have to explain to your First Officer, but you damn well have to explain to the father of your child, Kathryn."

Janeway stood and walked to the window. It was so easy for Chakotay. He could switch between the roles in his life. Commander, father…they were separate for him. It was never so with her. She was the Captain every second of every day until they got home.

"Kathryn—"

"No, Chakotay, I don't want—"

"Don't want what? Her? You did want her."

She ran her hands through her loose hair. "That was before."

"Before what?"

"Just before." She said loudly. Chakotay looked down at the baby, who just stretched an arm out, but continued to sleep. "I have to get us home, Chakotay. That has to be my focus, above everything else. I thought I could do both, but I can't." Why couldn't he see that?

"You seem to have a habit of changing you mind and blaming it on having to focus."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"We had sex, Kathryn."

She felt her face redden. "I think everyone is aware of that fact."

"We never talked about it."

"There was nothing to talk about." She turned back to the window.

"You started it." He stated. "You kissed me."

She had had every intention of keeping a platonic relationship with him on New Earth. She had stated that there needed to be defined parameters, and he had indicated that he understood. Everything seemed fine.

Until one night she was coming out of her sleeping space. She had bumped into him, and he had smelled so good. When he put his hands on her to make sure she didn't fall, something had flared, something that she could no longer ignore. Yeah, she had kissed him. And it was good. So good that it had got more heated. Until they had…

It had been intense and passionate. The next morning it had been sweet and lingering. Four hours later, while she was planting a garden and discussing future plans, Voyager had contacted them.

She had slipped right back into her Captain role, with no regret. She thought he had done the same.

"I asked you directly if you were sure. You said yes." He continued. "And then you just…forgot it happened."

"I didn't forget, I just knew that we could not continue that relationship here. I thought you understood that."

"You made it very clear when you didn't bring it up. But back to the point. You choose to sleep with me. You initiated it, I did not force you."

"Of course you didn't!" She exclaimed

"Then, two months later, you find out that you are pregnant, and you choose to go through with it. Again, I didn't force you. I told you I didn't want to make you do something you didn't want to do. You said you wanted it. You choose to have her."

Janeway turned at him, her temper flaring. "Yes, I choose to have her. Despite my misgivings, I choose to continue the pregnancy. But I did not choose to get kidnapped because of it! I did not choose to have my crew and my ship put in danger." She felt all of the anger, hurt, bitterness, and despair about the situation escape. "They kidnapped me, Chakotay. It was not for the ship, or technology, or even information. They didn't care that I was the Captain. All they wanted was the baby. All I was to them was a walking womb. They violated my body, and manipulated it for their own needs."

"Kathryn…"

She took a step back, holding up a hand and desperately trying to keep the crumbling walls up. "And none of that would have happened if I had not been pregnant."

"You can't honestly blame her? She's innocent." Chakotay stood and held her up. "Look at her! She didn't ask to be born. If given a choice, she would not have asked for you to be kidnapped." He walked over to her, and she backed up until her legs hit the sofa. "She is a victim too. She wasn't allowed to form at a normal pace. She is the one they tried to rip from her family. Her own mother won't look at her."

He was right. She knew that he was making a valid point. But why couldn't he see her side of it? Why was he so insistent?

Why, when he mentioned that she was Mahala's mother, did she not feel like it?

To her horror, he held the infant out. "What are you doing?" He didn't reply, just pushed the baby towards her. She had to grab her or she would have fallen. "Chakotay!"

He stepped back, didn't say anything, and crossed his arms.

The baby, perhaps sensing that she was no longer comfortably cradled in her father's arms, awoke. Not happy about being disturbed, she wrinkled her face and let out a piercing wail. Janeway held her out to Chakotay, but he shook his head.

How dare he put her in this position after she had made her position clear! She looked around for some place to put the baby down, but nothing looked safe. She didn't want to accidentally hurt the baby, she just didn't want to continue to hold her. Her only option was to try to calm her down. She shifted Mahala until she had a firmer hold, cradling her in her arms like she had seen Chakotay do. Softly, she made shushing noises and rocked her. After what seemed like a long time, the crying quieted.

Janeway tried not to, but could not help but study the baby. She was less wrinkly than the last time she had seen her. Fatter also. Her eyes were still blue, not changing to brown like she had thought they would.

"I have to get us home and to do that I cannot have any distractions—" She began.

"She's not a distraction, she's your daughter." Chakotay told her. "The crew doesn't want a robot for a Captain. They have been quite unhappy about this."

They had been unhappy? She hadn't even noticed. She had been so focused on getting back to work. It made sense though. "They think I'm a horrible person, don't they. It's ok, I know I am." She told him, repeating what had almost become a personal mantra the past two weeks.

"No. They don't think that. They have been worried. And you are not a horrible person. You might have been acting horribly, but that is not who you are."

Mahala seemed to have decided that being held by her was not as bad as she thought. Yawning, she started to drift back to sleep. Janeway looked at Chakotay. "Then what am I?"

"You are a very determined, driven, focused woman. But that is also your downfall. You are so focused on getting us home, that you are going to miss out on wonderful things along the journey."

"Sacrifices are sometimes needed. They taught that in command school."

"Nobody expects you to sacrifice your family. And that is what she—we—are."

"You think of yourself as my family?" She asked, awkwardly sitting on the sofa as she tried not to wake the baby.

"If you'd have me." He answered softly, sitting next to her.

Dangerous territory, this was very dangerous territory. She knew that he was not just talking about being parents to Mahala. She felt resistance to that just as much as she felt resistance to being a mother. It went against what she believed in.

But as she held the baby and sat next to Chakotay, she felt herself beginning to break. Despite trying to fortify her defenses and hold on to her beliefs, the walls were crumbling.

She shook her head. "You don't get it. It's what has got me through all this time. It's my fault that we are out here. I made that choice for all of us. So I have to be the one to get us back. That is the last thing I think about when I got to bed and the first thing I think about when I wake up."

"That must be very tiring."

"I don't have the luxury of being tired." She replied.

Mahala shifted in her sleep and made a small snuffling noise. She found herself clutching the baby tighter.

"I don't think any of us want to get home at the expense of you. Kathryn, you can have a life on this ship. I know you want others to."

She rested Mahala on her lap and lightly ran her finger over the baby's hair. With extreme difficulty, she nodded.

"Alright. I don't know how good I'm going to be though. I know very little about babies." She would save any thoughts of being in a relationship with him for another date.

"Then we are on the same level." He told her with a grin.

To her surprise, she smiled also.


	8. Epilogue

The Mess Hall was just starting to fill when Janeway walked through the doors. Day shift had ended, and she was to pick up Mahala. Kes had been babysitting her today while she and Chakotay were on duty. Usually Chakotay would pick her up and bring her to Janeway's quarters, giving her a few hours of interaction before taking her for the night. Yesterday he had indicated that it might be good for the crew to see her and the baby together.

Neelix was in the kitchen finishing up the dinner he had prepared for the day. It actually looked like one of his more edible creations. He gave a big smile when he saw her.

"I'm here to pick up Mahala?"

Neelix pointed to the far corner, where Kes had the baby. She was rocking her while talking to Harry, Tom, and B'Elanna. She was surprised that B'Elanna was around the baby. Maybe she had also changed.

She walked up to the group. Kim started to get up—he was getting better but was still not relaxed around her—but she waved him back.

"Relax, Mr. Kim, I'm just here for my child." She reassured him.

"Yes, Ma'am—uh, Captain." He said nervously. Tom rolled his eyes.

Janeway hid a smile and took Mahala from Kes's outstretched arms. The baby had just started to recognize her, and began to babble excitedly. "I know, it's time go."

"She is a good baby. Very well behaved." Kes told her.

"Definitely a Starfleet baby." B'Elanna said, her tone a little disapproving. "But she is cute." She added grudgingly.

"Adorable." Tom added.

"You look good." Kes said meaningfully.

"I am." She replied honestly. "Well enjoy your evening." She told them and left the Mess Hall.

She was surprised by the amount of people who stopped to say hello to the two of them. It wasn't like the crew had not seen her. She had been back on duty for weeks. Several people had even stopped by to bring gifts. She wondered if Ensign Wildman had gone through this. She had thought of the birth of Naomi as an important event, but this was a little different. This time the baby had been born to two members of the crew. Perhaps everyone had felt that this truly was a Voyager baby. The thought made her feel even guiltier about her previous behavior. Resolutely, she pushed it away.

Chakotay had forgiven her, and was being very patient. Thankfully, she had found that not all of it was her fault. The Doctor had diagnosed her with something called Postpartum Depression. A few hyposprays had fixed the chemical imbalance, but it helped to know that some of it had been out of her control.

She arrived at her quarters to find Chakotay waiting outside. She let them all in and placed Mahala on a blanket on the sofa.

"How did it go?" He asked carefully. While she felt that she had put on a good act, he knew that it had been difficult to be seen in public with the baby. She had come far in the past few weeks, but she still had lingering negative thoughts.

She sat down on the sofa next to Mahala, and he sat on the other side of the infant. "It went…surprisingly well. You were right. They liked seeing me with her. She is very popular."

He nodded, not one to say I-told-you-so. "I'm glad that you took my advice. Perhaps things can return to normal."

"We're Starfleet, there is no normal." She said with a grin. "Chakotay…I'd…" She trailed off.

"What?"

This was a big step for her. She wasn't sure why she wanted to do it now, but she figured she should before she lost the nerve. Taking a deep breath, she spoke. "I'd like to keep Mahala with me tonight. Overnight."

"She is not sleeping through the night yet. She wakes up to be fed every three to four hours. Sometimes she just cries for no reason." He warned. She had expected him to agree right away, but she quickly realized why he had not. She should have expected him to be resistant. After all, she had neglected her responsibilities. He probably feared that with the first middle of the night awakening she would want to run in the other direction.

"I know. But I need to do this. You should not be the only one who has her overnight. You deserve a full night's sleep also." While he was hiding it remarkably well, she knew he was exhausted.

He nodded and looked down at the baby. "What do you say? Want to stay with your Mommy tonight?" Mahala cooed at him and gave a little kick. "Alright." He picked her up and kissed the top of her head. "Daddy loves you." He set her back down and Janeway could tell that it was hard for him.

They stood up and again he looked nervously at the baby. She placed her hand on his chest and looked him in the eyes. "I understand. I can handle this. I'm not going to run again."

He placed his hand over hers and nodded. "I know. I trust you. It's just that I have not been away from her overnight since she was born." He confessed, seeming a little embarrassed.

He did trust her. The doubt was in her mind. Surprising herself, she reached out and gave him a hug. Immediately, she pulled away and cleared her throat. "I'm sorry. I guess my hormones are still a little off."

"Don't apologize." He said, his voice quieter than normal. He reached out and took her hand, his thumb lightly rubbing. That same something that had been on New Earth flared again. It had not disappeared like she had thought, just lain dormant. He leaned down until his lips were about an inch from hers. Her heart pounding in her chest, she closed the distance.

His lips were soft, gentle. He seemed to not want to be too insistent or push her into anything. The warnings she had expected to be screaming at her were nearly nonexistent. She reached up and wrapped her arm around him, pulling him closer. Replacing the warnings were reassurances that this was right.

They broke apart and stood for a moment, catching their breaths.

"We need to take it slow." She told him. He looked over at their baby and chuckled. Ok, he did have a point… "Slower than before." And before they get to that point again, she was going to talk to The Doctor. Mahala was going to be an only child.

"I understand." He headed for the door.

"Bridge to Commander Chakotay."

"Chakotay here."

"We are getting a hail from a Kazon buoy. It's for you."

"On my way."

He turned and gave her a long look. There was only one reason the Kazon would be contacting him. Seska must have had her baby. Mahala was not an only child after all. Assuming his Commander persona, he walked out of her quarters. She went over to her daughter, determined to spend time with her before she would once again have to be Captain.


End file.
